Mozart’s Ghost Joins Vienna Philharmonic, Criticizes Modern Interpretations

In a spectral surprise, the ghost of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart has reportedly taken up residence in the Musikverein and is offering unsolicited critiques to the Vienna Philharmonic. Musicians have described feeling a sudden chill and hearing faint, disembodied harpsichord notes whenever they play Mozart’s compositions.

The ghost, allegedly dissatisfied with modern interpretations of his work, has been seen adjusting musicians’ sheet music and whispering feedback like “More allegro, less andante!” and “That’s not how it sounded in 1785!” during rehearsals.

Concertmaster Anna Schmidt shared her eerie experience: “At first, we thought it was a prank, but the detailed knowledge and musical precision were unmistakable. It’s both an honor and a bit unsettling to have Mozart himself guiding us.”

The Vienna Philharmonic has decided to embrace this unique opportunity, inviting Mozart’s ghost to their upcoming performances and crediting him as a “guest conductor” in their programs.